I’m a hot girl. I know this because 1) the first step in becoming a hot girl is deciding you are one; and 2) I get told I’m hot all the time, especially on Instagram. That’s no mistake either – I present myself in my hottest form on the app. When I post, I think of it as both a public service and something akin to Jeb Bush saying “please clap.” And depending on the guy, sometimes they clap, and sometimes they send me unsolicited dick pics.
While it can be admittedly dicey, there are certain ways to acknowledge a hot pic – and navigate Instagram more broadly – that are neither creepy nor suspect and might actually result in an IRL date/hookup. But this means – especially because Instagram is the point of origin for a ton of romantic interactions nowadays – no inappropriate DMing (e.g., the aforementioned unsolicited dick pics), no negging in the comments and no ignoring the one you’re with because you’re secretly married to someone else (oops!). Allow me to be your guide…
Commenting is as good as the comments themselves.
My whole account is essentially a thirst trap, a term I use broadly and colloquially here. Urban Dictionary offers a number of definitions of “thirst,” most of which highlight that there’s a sense of desperation involved. Essentially, if one is thirsty, they’re desperate for attention, desperate for sex, or most literally, desperate for water. In this context, when a woman posts a picture of herself where, for example, she has some visible cleavage, people might criticize her as “thirsty.”
I, however, believe that desiring attention is perfectly normal and that it’s fine to appreciate a good thirst trap. And so, when I post a picture that’s essentially just of my ass in a bikini, go ahead and add a peach emoji in the comments. Some might think it’s corny, but I say boost me on that algorithm. Be careful with emojis, though. If the connotation is too sexual – I’m looking at you, eggplant emoji – it can be gross. Other comments I typically appreciate are the simple stuff like “Art,” “Incredible” or “God bless.” Generally speaking, comments that are strictly about appearance should suggest reverence.
My colleague Tierney Finster adds, “Meeting people on Instagram is totally ‘normal,’ but unfortunately, a lot of dudes make their approach really creepy or overtly sexual in a way that kills the vibe. Negging falls under the creepy category for me. For example, multiple men have commented on my stuff like, ‘I love your weird tits,’ ‘Your tits are saggy but I’m down’ or ‘Hot but get a boob job.’ What am I supposed to think? That these guys are generous?”
Following is more than fine – even if you’ve never met (digitally or IRL).
Following someone is pretty straightforward and hard to fuck up. A girl who goes to https://hookupme.net/asian-hookup-apps/ the same college as you? Sure, you’ve got something in common. A girl who shows up on your Instagram Explore page? Go for it, though she might not follow you back. A girl another girl you already follow tagged in a photo? Okay, you share a mutual friend. A girl you saw on Tinder? That’s fine, since at that point you don’t know whether or not this person has swiped right on you as well. In all of these cases, though, don’t assume the attraction will be mutual, and in particular, don’t badger them if there’s no mutual interactions (especially those women you saw on Tinder).
For the most part, a lot of girls want more followers on Instagram. Having followers makes one feel relevant and self-important in ways that probably aren’t healthy. Every time I get a new follower at least, I get a tiny endorphin rush. (Speaking of which, follow me on Instagram )